Lunch room Linda

Wow. This is the last week of my six-week T/Th stint as lunch room lady. I'm 'officially' a sub, but I was needed for an extended period. Today was just too much. The other aide was missing, so I was in the gym solo with 78 kindergarteners (give or take a couple). I frantically opened ketchup, taco sauce, water bottles, you name it). Ketchup spilled all over Jason's pants and so I had to wipe it up (which I might add was all over his zipper-area, so it was a delicate thing to do). And then the boys were fighting. He looked at me funny. I don't want him sitting here. I have to go potty now! I think I'm going to throw up. I fell off the bench and my back hurts now. (You get the picture.) All of this chaos is independent of what came during all that. A mother came in to see her daughter and she was leaning over supposidly helping her and I looked at her and realized she was in a trance/drunken stupor/stoned/having a seizure. Her eyes closed and she wasn't moving. It was actually scary. I yelled for the principal in the hall. She came and hauled her away and I never did hear what happened with her. Ick. Then it is getting close to recess time and I realize, 'hey wait a minute! I have no other aide.' I run to the office and ask, 'is anyone helping me on the playground???' No, you're on your own. Everyone else is busy. So there I was frantically releasing the tables, running to the hallway so no fights broke out, and then ushered them out the door. Only to get out there and see HUGE water puddles and kids wading in them with nothing more than sweats and tennies on. 'GET OUT OF THERE (YOU MORONS... only in my thoughts, not verbalized). So I frantically ran from one end of the blacktop to the other trying to keep kids... well simply alive and still on the playground. At one point I realized, 'I almost don't care if they get sopping wet. It is their own fault if they do.' Then the mother in me got the best of them and I put my lungs to use and really let 'em have it. Whew it felt good. And then... finally, the bell rang. Then it was only 15 more minutes with the 2nd and 3rd graders and it was luckily uneventful (except for the fact that my fine young son came in 10 minutes later than the rest, saw me and burst into tears. I guess he and another were involved in being 'mean' to another kid in class so they had to write a letter to her saying they were sorry. Oh dear. And that dear blogger-friends was another chapter of the lunchroom lady's adventures. My niece asked if I have lunch lady arms. And by the way Laura, I do NOT!!!