The Chairman and the Squirrel

Hey everyone! Did you miss me? I haven't done much exciting for quite some time now. That rotten thing with pink flags just inhibits my freedom. Scares the willies out of me frankly. But I do get out and about at times. The big lady that yells at me but loves me takes me a lot of times in the van for stops. She gets in and out a bunch of times. Sometimes she even lets me get out and sniff around a bit. And then we're home. Nice, but not as great as good long walks with the big guy here. Yesterday he came up to me on my dog bed. I've felt stir-crazy the past while you know. Cold. Wind. Blustery weather. As a dog I can take most anything. But my poor paws get so sore with stuck snow in them. Anyway, the big guy comes up and was rubbing my ears asking if I wanted a walk. Are you nuts man? A walk? Of course! I want a walk. A walk. Lets go! A walk! Whoooeeee! I'm there. I'm gone! Get those boots on man! And so we're off!

The big lady that yells but loves me anyway has a route that she goes on with me. It's nice. But it isn't as good as the big guys (don't tell her I said that). You see the big guy takes me further and into woods. I've seen lots of stuff in there that moves and has good smells and sometimes I give a good chase to a deer or a squirrel or a rodent. We were enjoying the quietness of the morning together. I had some very good sniffs. And then what's that? The big guy was kinda close to me. But something was here! It wasn't moving. But I usually chase them. I pick it up of course. It is a squirrel and it is crunchy, hard, and deader than dead. The big guy is really grossed out. He hurries over. He starts to yell. 'Give! Give! GIVE!!!' He was really yelling. I thought for a minute he was going to grab that big ol' frozen dead squirrel out of my mouth. I wanted to play with it. He didn't want me touching it. And so I did what any sensible dog would do. I chomped as hard as my big ol' canines could and started to swallow. The big guy looked horrified. I chomped and chomped (now mind you a whole squirrel is no small feat going down the gullet of a purebred pup like me). But I did it! Tail and all!!! It almost felt like it was going to get stuck as it went down. No water in sight you know. But then I had an enormous burp. Then another one. And then... it was done. The squirrel was in my belly. The big guy couldn't take it from me. And I won the battle!!! He was so grossed out. He pulled out his ding-a-ling thing from his pocket and was saying into it that something 'terrible happened Linda'. Terrible? No way! I'm trying to ensure some nasty dog breath for days to come!

Stay tuned for my next adventure in Lisi-land!