Urp!

Ugh. It was rough. Yuck. Ouch. But I better get some background to you first. Hi there all you dog and non-dog (gasp is this possible?) loving people out there. This is your ol' pal Lisi again. I usually like to tell stories about when I'm naughty. It is usually good for a laugh. It makes the big lady that yells but loves me anyway very tense. And crabby. But this time I worried her a lot.

You see yesterday afternoon the car came home early. Man I love that guy. He's big and he rarely yells. And he takes me for the best walks ever. We head out further than the big lady does (and she even sometimes yells on my walks!). He was saying something to the little people around here and then! They were scurrying to get jackets and shoes on! Really? He's going with them for a walk! And I get to go too! Lucky lucky me. And so we headed off for the woods. The big love able guy and the little people were playing hide and seek in the woods. It's great fun, but usually the little people yell at me when I go stand by them behind a tree. Hey! I like to play too you know! Then we kept walking through the crunchy leaves. I chased a couple of squirrels. And then we headed out by a big cornfield. The bigger little kid and the smaller little kid were throwing these yellow things up in the air and then it would rain down on us. I started to catch them with my tongue like I do snowflakes. Except I would swallow them. I did this for awhile and then they threw up a big thing and I ate that too. After awhile, we headed for home. Then I started to feel rumblies in my tumbly. Oh boy. I didn't feel good. We got back when the big lady did. She took one look at me and asked if something was wrong. The big guy that doesn't yell so much said I had been eating some corn. The big lady started to look worried and I started to feel sicker. She was busy in the kitchen. The big guy was busy with the little people and I felt sick. Like... I've got to throw up this instant and so I did. On a little rug. In just moments the big guy that doesn't yell was yelling. "OH NO! OH NO! LINDA!". The big lady comes over and looks and ushers me outside very quickly. For yuck. I felt terrible. Not because of the rug. Why you ask? Because I'm a dog and we don't give a lick about rugs or keeping them clean. I felt terrible because, well, I felt terrible. And so I puked a lot more times.

The big lady was looking anxious and worried. She was talking to the big guy and saying things like obstructed intestines (what in the dickens is that?). And so she would keep coming out into the garage and stare and me. Murmur sweet words of comfort (although I have no clue what they were). And pet me softly on my sore belly. She really loves me even though she yells. Then she left me there for the night. The big guy came out much later in the night to check on me. But you know what? I started to feel better.

And this morning? It was great. The big lady came rushing out to look at me again. She brought me rice and meat mixed together. She watched me to make sure I went potty (can't a girl get a little privacy around here?). And after I went I could tell she was happy (isn't that weird that someone would be so happy to see you do your business?). And then we went for a walk and I had a drink and I chased a ball and life is good again!

And so... I didn't learn my lesson. You see we dogs have brains that aren't big in cause and effect. So if you see me in a cornfield munching away, please stop me and try to remind me that I'm not a deer or a cow or a pig. And dogs shouldn't be doing that!