No, that's not me in the picture. In fact, you don't want to see the picture of the real me.
This morning the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway looked all preoccupied and busy at the same time. Then she started to bark (pun intended) orders at the little people that live here telling them to get in the van. I thought I might get to go like I often do, but she backed out looking all busy and preoccupied at the same time and off they went. I wandered to my favorite cool spot and slumped down to wait for a few hours or days or minutes or however long it was. The Big Guy came back in pretty good time if I were to know anything about time. I was overjoyed to see him. And my joy turned to ecstasy when he laced up his shoes and grabbed the leash he never uses on me (it's kind of a prop if you ask me) and off we went.
The walk was the usual pace and to the usual places. Until we smelled smoke. The Big Guy took us a bit further and we watched some guys burning a field. Well the Big Guy was watching while I got a sniff of something in a garden. My nose led me into the garden. And then my nose led me to a little bunny that was eating things that the people would want to eat. I thought I'd do them a favor. So I got that bunny real quick and did a big CHOMP!
The Big Guy whirled around. Because you see the sweet, soft, (delicious!) bunnies actually do scream when their life is being taken. He screamed. I chomped. And all the Big Guy saw was the fluffy cotton tail, and two back feet dangling out of my mouth. He yelled again. I swallowed hard.
You see the other day I got a big striped gopher. Ick. It tasted nasty, but I made sure he was properly dead before I left. Didn't want undo suffering you know. But rabbits.... mmmm. Did you know why Elmer Fudd was going after Bugs Bunny? Well now you do. Because rabbit stew is good. I just had the rabbit part and didn't wait around for stew.
So the Big Guy looked at me with glaring eyes. He also looked a bit ill. He continued our walk and stopped to visit another big guy. They were talking and saying who-knows-what, but the other Big Guy looked at my Big Guy and then at me and then laughed and said something about urping up bones and fur later today.
So I'm relegated to the outdoors. But I don't mind. It's a perfect lazy summer afternoon to lie in the grass and dream. Dreaming about walks and my people loving me and the next time I meet another unsuspecting rabbit....
Poor, poor, Lisi. Just doing what God intended for a dog to do. Im' sorry. Why don't you come on out to our farm and you can even roll around in dead stuff. That's been dead for a few weeks. You will smell SO good, to high heaven good!! You'll be the envy of the neighborhood! (and outside for a LONG time)
ReplyDeleteI rescued a rabbit about that size from the cat the other day. I know cats have to eat and the whole laws of nature thing, but DOES IT HAVE TO BE DONE IN MY GARAGE??? So, the poor little thing ran away after I got it out the cats way and ended up between the sliding glass door and the screen, in which it prudently stayed until Jim rescued it again. Whew!
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of people that would hire you, Lisi to come and chomp bunnies in their yards!
ReplyDeleteI would be one of those that would hire you. I have some full-grown rabbits, which would be an even bigger treat maybe. I could also tempt you with some chipmunk morsels pre-prepared.
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