Sick as a dog...

You've heard that saying, right?  Sick as a dog?  Well that might be just a casual way to say someone isn't feeling too good, but yesterday, that was me!

Hello!  This is your ol' pal Lisi.  I've had an exciting 36 hours so I thought I better let you know.  Especially if you want to send cards or better yet, a big juicy bone or something.

A couple nights ago I was out walking with the Big Guy.  If you remember right, the Big Guy is the nice one that takes longer walks and doesn't yell as much as the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  He's so nice that he rarely takes me on a leash.  He trusts me more than Big Lady.  But now... well I'm not so sure.  

We got separated on our walk Friday night because I found some delicious things to sniff.  I may or may not have eaten some things I found.  I went to bed feeling a bit 'off'.  Saturday morning, the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway came out of the bedroom to give me my breakfast.  I tried to get up and my legs felt funny.  My tummy felt rumbly.  I just felt really weak.  She was giving me a weird look.  After lying there and not moving for half the day, she came over and pulled on my collar to get me outside.  I think she thought I would start walking around.  She had no idea, but I didn't want to.  In fact, it was terribly painful.  So I laid there in the grass for a few more hours.  I felt terrible.  Soon the Big Lady and the Big Guy were talking and then the Big Guy came and lifted me into the van for a ride.  Uh-oh.

We got to this place and it said 'Emergency entrance'.  Big Lady used that.  She then brought out two other big ladies and they put me on a stretcher.  It was awful.  And I felt so yucky I wasn't even interested in that weird dude and his ankle biter dog in the background.  

They take me back and start to examine me.  I wouldn't walk and just shook and felt terrible.  They took my temperature and took out lots of blood to check it and then when they got done I had an accident.  Not just any old accident.  An 'accident'.  The doctor told the Big Lady that it was 'explosive diarrhea'.  I'm not sure what that means, but my tummy felt all rumbly and it was such a big, humiliating mess.  

They told the Big Lady that I needed fluids and they wanted to keep watch of me.  Then they started to talk in somber tones using words like 'coding' and if I should be 'resuscitated'.  I found out the Big Lady's true feelings about me because I saw her shake her head sadly and say 'no' to that.  But I saw a tear, so I know she does have a soft spot in her heart for me.

I was there for several hours getting fluids.  I got some pills that made me feel loopy.  I got some chin scratches and a few pats on my hind end while I laid there.  After hours and days and weeks or maybe just a few hours (we dogs are challenged by time passages), the Big Guy and the Big Lady came back!  Oh I love them so!  Even if they wouldn't save my life if my heart stopped.  I stood up shaking but it was worth it because I had a feeling I would be going home!  

Soon they lifted me up in the van and the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway sat on the floor by me and said all these super-special things that made my heart melt with love for her all over again.  

They made me special foods like eggs and chicken and rice that I get to eat right now!  It sure beats dog food!  The Big Guy and the Big Lady sat by my bed for a long time last night just making sure I was fine.  I just wanted some sleep!  They kept giving me those loopy pills you know.

Well today was a brand new day!  I felt lots better right away.  I was shaky and stiff and feeling wonky this morning, but by tonight I had a feeling I'd like to nip the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway right in her backside.  But she wouldn't like that and probably start yelling at me like she does when I misbehave.  

Oh well.  It sure feels good now to not feel 'sick as a dog'!  

Ed note:  They suspect Lisi ate something toxic on her walk on Friday night.  I took her in to the emergency pet hospital and watched three episodes of "Flipper" in the waiting room.  I also observed sad-eyed people walk in with a very ill looking dog and often times walk back out with tears streaming down and an empty collar in their hands.  It was actually a very dreadful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  It seemed even more dreadful when the bill came!  As you probably guessed, I LOVE dogs.  But I don't love the expense or the worry or the very fearful feeling of losing them.  Thankfully, it wasn't our turn yet to hold the empty collar.