Another year...

It was fourteen years ago today.  Amara Kay was born too soon.  For three days she struggled to live.  For three days the doctors struggled to keep her alive.  For three days we struggled with the thought that she might not live.  And she passed away.  From her daddy's arms to her Father's.  She was just lent to us for three days.  Three agonizingly long and incredibly short days.  There's a hole in my heart that will never be filled.  And that is ok.  It makes me stop in the middle of what I'm doing during an ordinary day and weep.  Tears of sadness for our baby that didn't get to experience life.  Tears of thankfulness for the blessings (times 3) that we now have.  I think experiences that take nearly the very life out of you change you for the better.  They make you empathetic.  They make you humble.  They make you realize that we can't do it in our own strength.  So I'm thankful.  For Amara's short stay with us.  For her ongoing influence.  And for the thought that her little soul is safe where it wants to be.