A weighty matter

Hi you all.  It's me again.  Your friend Lisi... you know, the dog that loves to write?  Well today I went on a little trip.  You see after the big lady that yells but loves me anyway said goodbye to the many young people and the Chairman, she disappeared for a little bit.  Then she was back out and said those magic words... 'want to go for a ride???'.  She always makes it sound so fun.  Well doing what we simple-minded dogs do, I got super excited and headed for the door, hopped into the van and we were off.  I have no idea where we were going, but it sure sounded fun.  Just a short while later, the van stops.  She makes me sit while I get my leash on and then we headed into a building ripe with smells.  Wow... there must have been a couple thousand cats and dogs at this place.  Yowser.  I could have spent hours and hours just taking it all in.  Kinda like you people that love to read do at a library.  I got on this thing and sat so quiet while a lady wrote down a number and we went into a little room.  Then it was just me and big lady.  She didn't yell.  She murmured some sweet nothings.  But I was most interested in the treats I saw on the counter.  She gave me one.  And then said 'that's enough'.  Oh yeah?  For who!  So we waited and waited and waited and waited for hours and hours.  Or 10 minutes.  Then a very nice lady walked in.  She had important looking things in her pockets.  She talked with big lady about me.  I'm not sure what they said, but they both laughed a couple times.  She looked in my eyes and ears.  She listened to my tummy and my heart (and made me quit panting while she was doing this).  Then the big lady did something I have a hard time taking in.  She betrayed me.  It was awful.  She asked the important looking lady a serious and embarrassing question.  She said and I quote, "do you think she looks fat?"  Well how do you think that made me feel?  What about her?  She's got a couple extra pounds on her back side too ya know.  The important lady looks at me and feels around.  She checks the chart and says, "well she did gain five pounds since we last saw her and I think that was when she was at her ideal weight".  Diplomatic I say... and cruel.  Do you know what this means?  No more bites of delicious food the big lady makes after every meal.  No more treats tossed absentmindedly to me.  No more reason for living.  Oh my.  I can hardly take it in.  Life will not be the same.  But until then, I'll enjoy my longer walks.  And savor every morsel.  Because that's as good as it gets for me, so I might as well enjoy it.

Speaking of which... I haven't seen the big lady lately.  She needs to get her big hinder outside here so we can go take a walk.  Tell her to get out here if you see her!