Monday, October 14, 2013

Am I fat? Or just fluffy?

The Big Guy is clueless.  Someone along the way never-ever told him rules and boundaries with women.  One of the biggest no-nos that you could ever do is comment about their weight.  He didn't get the memo.

Hello!  This is your ol' pal Lisi!  I bet for a minute you were thinking it was the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  But you know what?  She would never say the word 'clueless' in the same sentence as the Big Guy.  She often says how glad she is that he is talented and smart.

Yes, the Big Guy that is usually nice has a bone to pick with me.  He hasn't said anything directly to me, but keeps bringing it up to the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  He keeps saying I am fat!  Can you even believe it?

I mean look at me!
 Or is this angle better?
 How about a profile shot?  See?  No double chin!
 Or maybe you'd like a sunny, flower shot?
 The Big Guy and the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway were sitting together visiting yesterday and I was lying at their feet.  The Big Guy was saying that the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway needs to cut back on my food and treats.  Good thing I have restraint because I was thinking of biting his leg.  He then said of all the golden retrievers in our neighborhood, I'm in the worst shape!  And then the final and biggest insult was hurled my way.  'She's just plain fat!'.

After that insult was hurled down in my direction, the Big Guy just plain hit below the collar.  He said that the mixed bag of ear mites and mouse breath was in much better shape than I am.  What a bunch of nonsense!  He's comparing a soft, gentle, affectionate canine to an independent and mostly crabby feline?  Yep - like I said, he's clueless.
Since I know there are some members of the Lisi fan club out there, could you do me a favor?  Could you let the Big Guy know that I am just fluffy and not fat?  Please?  I cannot live without my treats and my deep dish of food.  I can't!  I'm a dog!  My brain is 95% food-driven, 3% affectionate-driven, and 2% for exercise.  So please!  Help!  I don't want to soon become a bag of bones.

Thank you from the bottom of my stomach.  

3 comments:

  1. WHAT! Lisi, this is totally uncalled for and unfair AND judgmental! Men have no business commenting on women's weight! They do not have fat cells that have to puff up and become fluffy in child bearing in order to support the precious gifts we are making. You better nuzzle up to the big lady and make sure she defends you! You are fluffy all the way!!!

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  2. Aww Lisi, it's just that time of year when your fur gets thicker for warmth...that must be what he is seeing. I wish we humans had fur and could blame that on our thickening waistlines during the fall/winter baking frenzy!! :) Hugs to you my dear furry friend!

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  3. Lisi- you poor misunderstood lady! I bet if you look closely the Big Guy has a little extra around his middle! Perhaps you could find a way to point that out to him….. I will try to have a talk with him if I see him in November.

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