Yesterday, daughter #1 and I were at a local grocery store by the name of Woodman's that carries everything. And I mean everything. There are entire aisles dedicated to certain ethnic foods. Rows of natural foods. You name it. Well we were strolling down the Asian aisle because she loves it all (go figure) and I stumble across some tea.
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Now don't be alarmed. I am not dieting. I simply don't diet. I just eat a couple less cinnamon rolls per week and call it good. However, this very inexpensive tea seemed intriguing. Drink a cup of tea and I'll be dancing like a ballerina! Why not! Daughter #1 encouraged me to throw it into a cart.
We return home. After doing a few things I boil up some water and steep my bag for exactly five minutes. I drink it down. Tastes a bit like hot water poured over grass clippings, but hey! I'm going to lose weight!
We eat our dinner together as a family and I chase that all down with a coffee cake muffin that I had just made. Yum. I figure if I'm going to drink tea to diet, that took care of the extra calories I just consumed.
Well I meander off to bed early. I'm sick with a cold you know and rest restores health, right? The Chairman comes to the bedroom to chat a bit and turn out my light. I settle in. I am suddenly awake by about 4. I think I don't feel so well. What is that strange feeling? Oh my. I'm cramping up a bit.
I doze off but at 4:30 my body says, 'get out of bed and get to the bathroom right NOW!!!' I try to quietly run to the bathroom. I then pretty much void myself of every food particle I've eaten since 1986 and it wasn't by throwing up. My loins were not girded. They were on fire! I head back to the bed. I lay there awake for a bit and just as I'm dozing off feel another incredible urge to get out of bed immediately or there will be trouble. I finished off part two and took care of all the nourishment I've had since 1973. Oh. My. Word. If this is what it takes for ballerinas to dance, well I'm not donning a tutu anytime soon.
Today I've felt icky off and on all day and I'm quite certain Ballerina has something to do with it. So if you're feeling that winter doldrums are getting you bogged down, I have just the remedy! Just stop by for a tea bag and you'll be good to go! Pun very much intended.
It's not nice to laugh when people are sick, but your intended pun DID make me chuckle. Hope you are all better now.
ReplyDeleteTotally needed a laugh like this- oh man! At least it's a temporary thing.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, I've heard of the magic mechanisms of diet miracle teas and no one ever seems to believe me...I'm going to save this post I think! ;-)
Well, if it works . . . . :)
ReplyDeleteSorry, but you made me laugh till tears came.....sorry that it was the expense of your misery though! Hope you are feeling better today; are you more energetic? We have had something like that around here......maybe that's what I need.....as I need to shed a few too as well as obtain more energy!!
ReplyDeleteo haa haa hee hee .. imean tea hee..oops. what are the ingredients? senna leaf? uh oh. sorry ..betcha 10 bucks you lost weight. while sleeping. what's not to like about that?
ReplyDeleteOh. My. Word, is right!!! Not how I want to learn to dance, or lose weight. ;-)
ReplyDeleteSo funny...reminds me of the reviews on amazon for sugar free gummy bears...lol
ReplyDeleteSame comment as Helen....if you liked the Ballerina tea, try this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummi-Bears-Sugar-Free/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?showViewpoints=1