Therapy Dog

Yep that's me!  Don't you remember?  I became a certified therapy dog at the age of one!  And guess what?  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway has never taken me anywhere to help people.

Hello!  This is your old pal Lisi!  It's been awhile since I've had any say around here, so I think it is time to have another chat.

There are a lot of needs here at this place I live at.  In fact, I would say my proverbial supper dish is full here.  That is why I cannot go visit nursing homes, hospitals, or schools.

There are some smaller people that are getting to be bigger people that spend time with me out in the yard throwing balls to me.  I think the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway tells them to get outside once in awhile and uses me as an excuse.  They drag me along when they get the urge to jog.  And then there's the Big Guy that doesn't yell.  He leaves nearly every day in a little car and is gone a very long time each day.  When he comes home, he eats at the round table with the family.  I try to get myself positioned on a nearby rug and snort and purr to make sure they remember I am close by and my whole purpose of existing here is to get a morsel from the Chairman's table.  Or something like that.  After the meal, he usually puts on clothes that smell like grass and woods and then I get excited because I know he's going to say, "Lisi?  Walk?" and then we are off for some silent therapy in the woods.

Then there's the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  She's my main concern and my biggest challenge as a therapy dog.  She writes sweet and affectionate and funny things here on the blog.  But do you want to know a secret?  She can be moody.  She can yell (let me tell you!).  She can cry (thankfully, not very often).  And she can become very, very silent (which usually means something isn't right).

For example last night she was basically doing all of the things I just mentioned.  She had bones to pick (isn't that clever of me?) and it just got worse and worse.  She came out to the screen porch and I could tell she was near tears.  I got up close and put my head on her lap.  I kept nudging her with my head to pet me.  I just know that'll make her feel better.  Then after she seemed tired of that I started licking her knees.  I know that sounds gross to you and it probably was gross to the Big Lady, but she started to laugh.  So I kept licking.  Then she finally said, 'enough Lisi!' but I could just tell she wasn't quite feeling her normal peppy self, so I got real close to the sofa and sat down and leaned all my heavy weight on her legs.  I thought my mere presence would make her feel better.  I listened along to the Big Lady talking to the Big Guy.  I have no clue what they were really saying because my vocabulary is limited.  But I could tell the Big Lady was starting to feel lots better by talking to the Big Guy.

Some say that dogs are dumb.  And maybe in some ways, we are.  I do have enough sense to know a red tomato from a green tomato and just recently got busted from eating them in the garden.  I have enough sense to know when I need exercise or the people that live here need exercise.  And most importantly, I have a sense to know when someone is sad or mad or just having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I think I've earned my doggy kibble this week.  And I might just highlight some of the work I've done this week in pictures.

sitting so pretty

lap therapy for Big Lady

C'mon!  Let's get going!

I'll show you the way!

Deeper in the woods... feeling better yet?

I love when she wants to get close

Whew!  It's been ruff around here!

So there you have it!  My life as a therapy dog for the nuts around this place.  Maybe the next time you see the Big Guy or the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway that I deserve a couple juicy new bones.  Thank you.

I love the man in brown...

Johnny Cash always wore black and even had a song called, "Man in Black".  Well I'm not sure who Johnny Cash is, but I do know this.  I love the "Man in Brown".

Hello!  This is your old friend Lisi!  Yes, I said old.  You see I'm still the sweet and sometimes spunky dog I always have been.  I am starting to get older though.  Kind of like the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.

Today, she decided to walk a little earlier than normal.  We started on our usual hike down a bike path.  She whispered 'sic em!' to me and I chased a few squirrels up a tree.  I love being able to be off leash as much as possible so I can race after rodents and sniff neighbor dogs.  Then as we got near a road, Big Lady looked at me like she was about to leash me, but for some reason she didn't.  Just after that I heard it!  I heard the big brown truck!  I love the big brown truck!  I love the man in brown on the big brown truck.  And I think he loves me.  You might even remember this post from awhile ago.

My ears perk up.  He's coming over to our street.  Big Lady stops us at the corner.  She tells me to sit.  The truck roars up.  The door is open!  The man in brown looks at me and smiles.  I forget I'm a trained dog.  In fact I forget I ever went to obedience school.  All I can see is the loving eyes of the man in brown and I know, I just know he wants to see me.

I rush up the stairs into his truck and sit down right next to him.  He says, 'well hello there big fella (silly man in brown must think I'm a guy like him) over the shrieks of the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  She was really living up to her name today.  The man in brown pats me.  Scritches me under the ears in a perfect way and then says, 'I better give you a treat!'.  Well Mr, what are you waiting for?

The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway said something terrible.  She said, 'the dog doesn't need a treat!'.  I gave her the stink eye.  The man in brown (love him so) didn't listen to the Big Lady.  He picked up a treat and threw it at me.  Did I say I love him so?  Oh I did.  Anyway, the Big Lady grabs me without a lot of love in her heart and drags me down the stairs of the UPS truck.  What a crab.  Doesn't she realize that the sole purpose of my being is to spread joy and happiness to mundane days?

The big brown truck and the man in brown roared off for their next stop.  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway muttered something about me being a disobedient and emotional dog.

So we continued on our walk.  She continued talking to me, but the tone got sweeter as the time went on.  Soon I was back off of my leash sniffing and chasing and enjoying the joys of life.  She can yell and be crabby and embarrassed about me, but deep down inside I know she loves me and always will.  Just like I love the man in brown, and black, and white, and blue, and...

Checking In

No news is good news, right?  I sure hope so!

Hello!  This is your good friend Lisi.  I was thinking this morning that the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway has really monopolized the blogging lately.  Between you and me, we both know I'm way more interesting than she is, right?  RIGHT?  Thought so.

So what has been happening in my life lately?  Not much.  I get so incredibly frustrated with the Big Lady.  She loves to write about me when I've done terrible deeds or made a bad judgement call.  But does she write about me on just an ordinary day when the sun is golden and life is good?  Nope.  So I think I'll show you my good side.  Actually, I had to ask Big Lady to take this pictures of me.

meeting some sheep!

Big Lady finds the nicest spots to meander

waiting for soccer practice to finish

is it done yet Big Lady?

time for a nap

seriously Big Lady?  This isn't my flattering side.

much better

Please?  Just throw me my ball one more time.  

How did I end up on this side of the door?

do I smell muffins?

This Big Lady is such a lovable goon and so am I.

Well it was great to touch base with you again!  If you ever want to get some dog hair on your clothes or toss a saliva-dripping tennis ball or share any morsel of food with me, just come on over to our house!  I'll be waiting for you.

Sick as a dog...

You've heard that saying, right?  Sick as a dog?  Well that might be just a casual way to say someone isn't feeling too good, but yesterday, that was me!

Hello!  This is your ol' pal Lisi.  I've had an exciting 36 hours so I thought I better let you know.  Especially if you want to send cards or better yet, a big juicy bone or something.

A couple nights ago I was out walking with the Big Guy.  If you remember right, the Big Guy is the nice one that takes longer walks and doesn't yell as much as the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  He's so nice that he rarely takes me on a leash.  He trusts me more than Big Lady.  But now... well I'm not so sure.  

We got separated on our walk Friday night because I found some delicious things to sniff.  I may or may not have eaten some things I found.  I went to bed feeling a bit 'off'.  Saturday morning, the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway came out of the bedroom to give me my breakfast.  I tried to get up and my legs felt funny.  My tummy felt rumbly.  I just felt really weak.  She was giving me a weird look.  After lying there and not moving for half the day, she came over and pulled on my collar to get me outside.  I think she thought I would start walking around.  She had no idea, but I didn't want to.  In fact, it was terribly painful.  So I laid there in the grass for a few more hours.  I felt terrible.  Soon the Big Lady and the Big Guy were talking and then the Big Guy came and lifted me into the van for a ride.  Uh-oh.

We got to this place and it said 'Emergency entrance'.  Big Lady used that.  She then brought out two other big ladies and they put me on a stretcher.  It was awful.  And I felt so yucky I wasn't even interested in that weird dude and his ankle biter dog in the background.  

They take me back and start to examine me.  I wouldn't walk and just shook and felt terrible.  They took my temperature and took out lots of blood to check it and then when they got done I had an accident.  Not just any old accident.  An 'accident'.  The doctor told the Big Lady that it was 'explosive diarrhea'.  I'm not sure what that means, but my tummy felt all rumbly and it was such a big, humiliating mess.  

They told the Big Lady that I needed fluids and they wanted to keep watch of me.  Then they started to talk in somber tones using words like 'coding' and if I should be 'resuscitated'.  I found out the Big Lady's true feelings about me because I saw her shake her head sadly and say 'no' to that.  But I saw a tear, so I know she does have a soft spot in her heart for me.

I was there for several hours getting fluids.  I got some pills that made me feel loopy.  I got some chin scratches and a few pats on my hind end while I laid there.  After hours and days and weeks or maybe just a few hours (we dogs are challenged by time passages), the Big Guy and the Big Lady came back!  Oh I love them so!  Even if they wouldn't save my life if my heart stopped.  I stood up shaking but it was worth it because I had a feeling I would be going home!  

Soon they lifted me up in the van and the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway sat on the floor by me and said all these super-special things that made my heart melt with love for her all over again.  

They made me special foods like eggs and chicken and rice that I get to eat right now!  It sure beats dog food!  The Big Guy and the Big Lady sat by my bed for a long time last night just making sure I was fine.  I just wanted some sleep!  They kept giving me those loopy pills you know.

Well today was a brand new day!  I felt lots better right away.  I was shaky and stiff and feeling wonky this morning, but by tonight I had a feeling I'd like to nip the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway right in her backside.  But she wouldn't like that and probably start yelling at me like she does when I misbehave.  

Oh well.  It sure feels good now to not feel 'sick as a dog'!  

Ed note:  They suspect Lisi ate something toxic on her walk on Friday night.  I took her in to the emergency pet hospital and watched three episodes of "Flipper" in the waiting room.  I also observed sad-eyed people walk in with a very ill looking dog and often times walk back out with tears streaming down and an empty collar in their hands.  It was actually a very dreadful way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  It seemed even more dreadful when the bill came!  As you probably guessed, I LOVE dogs.  But I don't love the expense or the worry or the very fearful feeling of losing them.  Thankfully, it wasn't our turn yet to hold the empty collar.  

My friend came!

I keep staring at her, and she doesn't get up off her chair to give me another walk.  Sigh.  What a lazy Big Lady!

Hello!  This is your old pal Lisi!  I realize I have been calling myself an 'old pal' for some time.  I'm starting feel the old part in my bones more than I used to.  You would think the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway would just give me more kibble and extra treats knowing that sometime she won't be able to do that anymore.  I doubt it happens though because sometimes she calls me 'fat'.  I think that's called verbal abuse.

I just had a wonderful 24 hours.  You see the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway said that most-wonderful "M" word.  My friend Mavrick was coming!  And he did!  It was wonderful.  We sniffed each other on both ends.  We wrestled a bit.  We begged for treats together.  We took a wonderful hike through the woods.  And we laid side by side and took delicious naps.  But all good things must come to an end.

Soon I saw Mavricks Big People starting to load up their things.  Mavrick is so lucky because his Big People don't seem as tense and ornery as the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  They seem so patient and kind all the time.  I hope the Big Lady takes notice.

They told Mavrick it was time to get in their car.  "DON'T LEAVE MY FRIEND!  We still have a couple holes to dig.  We still have to settle our last wrestling match.  We still have a cat to chase.  (Don't tell Mavrick, but I still want to steal some more of his dog kibble.).  And up he went.  I got up on my back legs trying to get in.

I hopped up.  Do you think they would notice if I sat real quiet?

They see me!  If I smile real big will they let me go?  Please????

Oh no!  Here comes the Big Lady!  She's not even yelling!  She's yanking me by my collar!  What a brute!

I dug my back paws in hard.  Nothing doing.  She did one swift yank and pulled me out of their car.  See?  Even Mavrick looks scared.

So here I sit.  Staring at the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  I probably would miss her tomorrow morning.  She stays home with me most all the days.  After everyone goes in a car or a yellow bus, she gets down on her knees by my bed and rubs all those special spots.

Even though she has some really annoying quirks.  Even though she never-ever seems to give me enough treats.  Even though the walks sometimes aren't long enough.  Even though she pokes pills down my throat.  Even though she yells at me sometimes (admittedly deserved), she loves me anyway.  So I better stay back so she doesn't feel too worthless.  Because we dogs are loyal.  And that's why she loves me.

We're Twins!

Well almost!  Hello!  This is your old pal Lisi.  I think it is time for me to 'speak' from my corner of the doghouse again.  Today was a lovely day to walk.  As I was trotting along minding my own business and doing my business I was doing some simple number crunching (we dogs aren't too complex with mathematics you know).  Did you know something?  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway and I are nearly exactly the same age!  Isn't that just the greatest?  It would be, but I have a bone to pick with her (I'd rather chew on it quite frankly).  

Lately, I have overheard the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway tell people some things about me that I'm not happy about.  She seems to be bringing up negatives when she should really focus on the positives.  Want to hear them?  She says that my hair is turning gray.  She says that I've been getting more meat on my bones.  She says that I have some weird lumps here and there.  She says that my vision isn't so clear.  And she even has said that my ears don't hear like they used to (don't tell her but I do hear just fine.  I just choose not to sometimes.)

But did you want to know something?  She should be looking in the mirror when she is saying those things.  Have you seen her hair lately?  How about her backside?  Reading glasses?  Telling the small people they are always mumbling their questions.  Hmmmmm?  What do you have to say about that Big Lady?

Now don't get me wrong.  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway is my everything.  She's my mom and bestest friend and playmate and provider and love all wrapped up in one package.  And even though she won't admit it, I think in some ways I'm that to her too.  She walks through rain, snow, sleet, hail, and unbelievably cold temperatures just so I can have my daily outing.  She feeds me at perfectly paced intervals.  She scratches me in those perfect spots.  She even comes back from the store with bones stuffed with bits of goodness like beef or peanut butter.  So yes this affection is a two-way street.

I'm very aware that I'm on the fast track and the Big Lady is on the normal track of aging.  This time that we are the same age will be brief.  If time allows, she will be caring tenderly for me as I quickly become an old lady.  I know she will do her best to keep me warm, safe, and comfortable because she does that for me right now.  I'd like to live a lot longer, but I cannot and maybe it is for the best.  For now I'll enjoy each day to the fullest. So here's to me and my twin!  At least for a few days...

"If you still think you're a young pup then you are, no matter what the calendar says"

- John Grogan, "Marley and Me:  Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog"

"The misery of keeping a dog is his dying so soon.  But, to be sure, if he lived for fifty years and then died, what would become of me?" - Sir Walter Scott

She loves me...

You know that thing you do with flowers?  "She loves me... she loves me not.  She loves me... she loves me not..."  I am a lucky one.  "She loves me!"

Hello!  This is your good friend Lisi!  I was just on a walk and while I was plodding along in the sub-zero temps for the second day I realized for sure... "she loves me!"

You see I gave her this look yesterday:

Never mind the fact that it was -16 with windchill to the -40's.  I wanted to walk.  You see I'm the sturdy kind.  I don't mind the cold.  I still love to go and sniff and see what I've been missing.  And I think it is important to get the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway out there.  She's older you know and it is good for stiff limbs and fragile minds.

So she went and put on lots of clothes and we were off!  It was a good thing we didn't run into any people on our walk because she looked kinda scary.

I'm so glad the Big Lady loves me.  She walks me each and every day.  She feeds me good food.  She brushes out all my burrs.  She gets down on her knees every night before bed and rubs my face in all the right places.  She bought me this awesome new bed that is just like sleeping on clouds.  She even has de-skunked me three times.  Now don't be saying nice things about the Big Lady being such a wonderful dog owner because quite frankly, I'm doing this for her.  She really doesn't have a lot of hobbies.  She needs someone to get her big rear out the door even on cold days.  She needs a distraction so she doesn't micromanage the smaller people or the Big Guy.  If it weren't for me, what real joy would she have?  Well... don't answer that.  But since I'm a dog I will take full credit right now.

I just hope if you are a dog reading this that you have someone that loves you too.  If you're not sure, just go give your people that "I want a walk" look.  Or better still, find a daisy!

To show my appreciation for our walk today,  I lavished kisses on her.  Because... she loves me!  

Where's the loyalty?

Have you ever met a guy like this?  He's all nice to you one day then starts talking behind your back and says stuff you don't like?  One of our best traits is loyalty and we expect it from others.

Hello!  This is your good friend Lisi again!  There was a guy that came back yesterday that had come a few years ago and dug holes all over our yard and didn't get in trouble for it.  In fact, the Big Guy and the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway smiled and said nice things to him.  Even more, I think they even gave him snacks and treats once or twice.  He was putting in these things that shoot water all over the yard so it stays green.

When he worked here a couple years ago he was so nice to me.  He'd give me nibbles at the lunch break.  He would get down on his knees to really pet me.  He'd even hold my hand.

So yesterday he came with a machine that makes a lot of noise and sprays water all over.  He seemed very glad to see me again.  He even called me "Lisi" and not "Lacey" like a lot of people do.  Sheesh!  

He came in the house to turn off a pipe and stopped right in front of me on my bed.  Then he said the words of a traitor.  "Your dog is clearly spoiled."  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway said back to him (bless her heart), 'yeah, but this life is all she gets, so might as well make it nice'.  

I hope the next time Former Nice Guy comes, he just stays outside and minds his own business.  I'm guessing his Sealy Posturepedic isn't too shabby either....  If you're gonna be my friend, be my friend.  If you're going to imply I'm not worth pampering, well just go on home.  We dogs are all about loyalty.  

Am I fat? Or just fluffy?

The Big Guy is clueless.  Someone along the way never-ever told him rules and boundaries with women.  One of the biggest no-nos that you could ever do is comment about their weight.  He didn't get the memo.

Hello!  This is your ol' pal Lisi!  I bet for a minute you were thinking it was the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  But you know what?  She would never say the word 'clueless' in the same sentence as the Big Guy.  She often says how glad she is that he is talented and smart.

Yes, the Big Guy that is usually nice has a bone to pick with me.  He hasn't said anything directly to me, but keeps bringing it up to the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  He keeps saying I am fat!  Can you even believe it?

I mean look at me!

 Or is this angle better?

 How about a profile shot?  See?  No double chin!

 Or maybe you'd like a sunny, flower shot?

 The Big Guy and the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway were sitting together visiting yesterday and I was lying at their feet.  The Big Guy was saying that the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway needs to cut back on my food and treats.  Good thing I have restraint because I was thinking of biting his leg.  He then said of all the golden retrievers in our neighborhood, I'm in the worst shape!  And then the final and biggest insult was hurled my way.  'She's just plain fat!'.

After that insult was hurled down in my direction, the Big Guy just plain hit below the collar.  He said that the mixed bag of ear mites and mouse breath was in much better shape than I am.  What a bunch of nonsense!  He's comparing a soft, gentle, affectionate canine to an independent and mostly crabby feline?  Yep - like I said, he's clueless.

Since I know there are some members of the Lisi fan club out there, could you do me a favor?  Could you let the Big Guy know that I am just fluffy and not fat?  Please?  I cannot live without my treats and my deep dish of food.  I can't!  I'm a dog!  My brain is 95% food-driven, 3% affectionate-driven, and 2% for exercise.  So please!  Help!  I don't want to soon become a bag of bones.

Thank you from the bottom of my stomach.  

A loss...

Hi there from your good friend Lisi.  I overheard the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway talking about something sad.  You see I had a cousin I had never met.  Her name was Mocha.  She lived far, far away.  I know she was very special because she was a dog.  I know she was very special because she was a retriever.  And I know she was very special because I would hear about her each and every time her family would come visit mine.

The Big Guy would look at me and say things like, 'Lisi's eyes are dull and not bright like Mocha's'.  The Big Lady that was very nice would say things like 'Lisi's fur is soft, but Mocha's is very smooth'.  Their big sons would say things kinda insulting like, 'Mocha could run circles around Lisi', or 'Mocha is more loving' or 'Mocha loves walking almost more than Lisi'.   She was very special to them.  It was obvious.

Mocha was a very lucky dog.  She was chosen to be part of a family that loves dogs.  I know.  The Big People that we live with are kind of silly about making sure we are walked, fed, and played with every day.  Some dogs are not so lucky.  So even though our time here on earth is short, it is filled to the brim with just daily joys.  The best is feeling loved by your own people.  Mocha had it that way and more...

Here are some quotes the Big Lady wants me to add:

* Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

* A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

* The reason a dog has so many friends is because he wags his tail and not his tongue.

* You can say any foolish thing to a dog and the dog will give you a look that says, 'wow, you're right!   I never would've thought of that!

* He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.  You are his life, his love, his leader.  He  will be yours, faithful and true to the last beat of his heart.  You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.  

Lounging with Lisi

There's a saying, "let sleeping dogs lie".  And boy do I ever wish she would.  

Hello!  This is your good friend Lisi again.  I've been quiet on here lately.  There really hasn't been much to share.  The big and little people left me awhile ago with another Big Lady.  They were gone a very, very, very long time.  I missed them a lot.  The Big Lady that came to stay with me was very big.  Not big like wide-big, but tall as in tall-big.  Got that?  She walked me with very long strides and made a much nicer fast-paced walk than I get with my own big lady.  And she didn't yell much at all.  I wish my Big Lady would learn from people like that other Big Lady. 

I suffer greatly around here.  There just isn't enough hugs and love pats and smoochies and warm, soft cuddly things to make my life complete.  I caught the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway taking some pictures this morning on her phone.  I'll upload them here so you can see my typical morning.  Then you can be the judge about my suffering and sleeping arrangements.

I start my day by begging for scrambled egg scraps.

Then we move on to the reading nook.  A few times a week, the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway sits on the floor and lets me pretend I'm a lap dog.

I LOVE those times but after awhile Big Lady complains that her legs are numb.  

Sometimes she does goofy stuff with me like this:

I have to be patient with her because she doesn't have much of a life and thinks this is funny.

When she gets done messing around with me I head to my bed.  It's a pretty sweet slumber place.

I love the feeling of laying on my squeaky toys.  I'm not sure why, but it just feels good.

Oh wait!  Big Lady is heading for the office.  So just to be close I always move from my bed to here.  I like to be close to her at all times.  You never know when she just might want to go take a walk.  I wouldn't want her to forget me.  

Oh good grief.  Look who just strolled by and decided to get cozy.  Good thing I like mouse-breath.

So there you have it.  The many ways I lounge around here.  I suffer so much sometimes that it was important for you to know.  I hope your living conditions are better than mine.  

Oh!  I saw this cartoon.  It is soooo true.  

That Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway used to shower me with little liver treats when we were in doggy school.  Now?  Not so much.  I highly encourage any young pups out there to play dumb as long as you can.  I didn't and now I hardly get any treats unless one of my Grandpas come.

Now back to my nap... so please.  Let sleeping dogs lie...

Lisi on the Lam

You've heard the expression - 'there are two sides to every story'.  Sometimes when there are candidates running for an office a question is asked and then both give their own answers.  Today it is time for both sides of the story.  I have my thoughts.  I know Lisi would want her voice heard as well.  So here goes:

What happened on Tuesday morning?
Big Lady:  I decided when I woke up that I'd like to head to the nearest Trader Joe's.  They have reasonably priced, healthy foods that are sometimes unique and interesting.  So I got showered (thankfully), dressed, and headed out the door.  When I left, I propped one of the garage doors open so Lisi would have in/out privileges and threw her a treat before I got in the van.
Lisi:  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway got dressed in a way that means we aren't going for a walk right away.  She marched right past me grabbing lists and keys and opened the garage door in a way that means she's leaving.  As an afterthought, she threw a treat at me.  The bucket is getting low and the treats stale, but she doesn't care.  Off she went.

What happened next?
Big Lady:  I was looking forward to my little outing.  First up was Trader Joe's.  Then I needed to find some volleyball pads for one of the MYP here and then I was going to make a couple stops just for me.  Browse a clothing store that sells nice things for reasonable prices.  Hey, I even had a coupon along.  I just pulled into the parking lot of TJ's when my phone bleeps a text.  "Guess who's at our back door?"
Lisi:  I waited until that van was out of sight.  Then after about three seconds I got bored.  That rotten cat was sleeping inside somewhere.  I've sniffed all the corners of the property.  I wasn't tired.  SAY!!!  Sasha!!!  They took care of me on Sunday when my people were gone!  They love me and give me treats!  I think I better go see what's going on over there!!!  So I headed down the driveway, took a left, and walked across the road and past two houses and here I was!  I better go look in the window to see what is happening!!!  SASHA!  MY chocolate-goodness bestie!

And then?
Big Lady:  Oh no.  I've just gotten to TJ's and I'm 20 minutes from home and that rotten dog ran to the neighbors.  I text back "I'll be home in an hour.  She can stay there with you or you can take her home and lock her in our garage.  Sorry!"  Mrs. Kindneighbor replies, "Don't apologize.  We love having her!!!  They are ripping around outside.  We really do love it tho when she is here... so it's not a bad issue for us :)"  (yes, she really said that).  I'm feeling torn.  I need to go get that rotten dog.  I'm mad at her.  I can't shop with a spirit of relaxation.  So I hurry through the store hoping I get what I wanted.
Lisi:  The door opens and out comes Sasha!  My dear friend!  And that other big lady that hands me treats all the time!  I love you so!  Why isn't my Big Lady as nice as you?  We go tearing through the yard like crazy.  I'm so glad I came!  Wheeee!  Life is good!  Finally, we settle into the mudroom with a bucket of water and relaxation.

What did you do next?
Big Lady:  So I left TJ's and got one more brief stop done to get the needed volleyball pads.  Then another in and out to return some shoes that another one of the MYP didn't need.  Then instead of wandering around enjoying the soft music and sniffing pretty candles, I tore for home to recover our rotten dog on the lam.  I drove straight to the neighbor house and rapped on the door.
Lisi:  We relaxed awhile in the mudroom and then wandered around the house.  This place is fantastic!  It's big and roomy and the big lady lets me go anywhere I want not just on wood like they force me to do at home.  A knock at the door!!!  Sasha and I go rushing to see who came!!!

Then:
Big Lady:  The dogs come bounding out.  Lisi is looking at me confused like 'what are you doing here???'  I hand over a token gift of appreciation from TJ's (a nice pump soap thingy and jelly beans).  We chat and I apologize and Mrs. Kindneighbor waxes on and on how sweet Lisi is.  I'm ready to wring her neck (Lisi's, not Mrs. Kindneighbor) but can't since I wasn't there when the transgression happened.  I make some small talk and load her up in the van and head for home.  The fun is over... almost.
Lisi:  BIG LADY!  She's not yelling!  But why in the world did she come here to this house?  I'm doing just fine here.  I've got my friend and treats and a big lady that doesn't yell!  She doesn't seem all that mad.  She's talking politely to the other big lady.  They are laughing and my Big Lady tousles my ears every once in awhile.  Then she says "go for a ride?"  Well finally she's taking me!  I hop in and the ride is immediately over.  We are home!  Oh well.

Anything else?
Big Lady:  I fed Lisi mid-afternoon and was getting ready for our walk when I realized that Lisi wasn't staring in the back window like she always does.  Just when I was ready to whistle for her my phone bleeps again.  "Lisi saw us drive by and came for another visit.  :)"  Now I'm mad.  I'm ready to yell.  So I go marching over all business-like and before I even get to their driveway, Lisi comes barreling out looking all sheepish and guilty.  I take her home.  I get out the invisible fence collar and she goes cowering in the corner.  I put it on and refuse to walk her for awhile to make a statement.  After a wee bit I can't help but feel sorry for her and off we go.  However, she is sporting her extra collar these days 'just in case'.
Lisi:  My suppertime has been mid-afternoon lately.  It's delicious every time!  Just as I finished I saw Sasha's van go by.  Sasha was leaning out the window!  I must go play with Sasha again!  And so I raced after their van and my friend got out and we had our second romp in the snow.  Until... I saw the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  She's not looking happy.  I run up to her.  I try to look sweet and innocent and repentant.  She's not buying it.  She leashes me up and takes me home and puts on that horrible red collar that beeps and worse.  My fun is over.  For now.  Until I get a chance to go again.

Editors note:  Sorry this ended up being so long!