Thursday, March 14, 2013

Lisi on the Lam

You've heard the expression - 'there are two sides to every story'.  Sometimes when there are candidates running for an office a question is asked and then both give their own answers.  Today it is time for both sides of the story.  I have my thoughts.  I know Lisi would want her voice heard as well.  So here goes:

What happened on Tuesday morning?
Big Lady:  I decided when I woke up that I'd like to head to the nearest Trader Joe's.  They have reasonably priced, healthy foods that are sometimes unique and interesting.  So I got showered (thankfully), dressed, and headed out the door.  When I left, I propped one of the garage doors open so Lisi would have in/out privileges and threw her a treat before I got in the van.
Lisi:  The Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway got dressed in a way that means we aren't going for a walk right away.  She marched right past me grabbing lists and keys and opened the garage door in a way that means she's leaving.  As an afterthought, she threw a treat at me.  The bucket is getting low and the treats stale, but she doesn't care.  Off she went.

What happened next?
Big Lady:  I was looking forward to my little outing.  First up was Trader Joe's.  Then I needed to find some volleyball pads for one of the MYP here and then I was going to make a couple stops just for me.  Browse a clothing store that sells nice things for reasonable prices.  Hey, I even had a coupon along.  I just pulled into the parking lot of TJ's when my phone bleeps a text.  "Guess who's at our back door?"
Lisi:  I waited until that van was out of sight.  Then after about three seconds I got bored.  That rotten cat was sleeping inside somewhere.  I've sniffed all the corners of the property.  I wasn't tired.  SAY!!!  Sasha!!!  They took care of me on Sunday when my people were gone!  They love me and give me treats!  I think I better go see what's going on over there!!!  So I headed down the driveway, took a left, and walked across the road and past two houses and here I was!  I better go look in the window to see what is happening!!!  SASHA!  MY chocolate-goodness bestie!

And then?
Big Lady:  Oh no.  I've just gotten to TJ's and I'm 20 minutes from home and that rotten dog ran to the neighbors.  I text back "I'll be home in an hour.  She can stay there with you or you can take her home and lock her in our garage.  Sorry!"  Mrs. Kindneighbor replies, "Don't apologize.  We love having her!!!  They are ripping around outside.  We really do love it tho when she is here... so it's not a bad issue for us :)"  (yes, she really said that).  I'm feeling torn.  I need to go get that rotten dog.  I'm mad at her.  I can't shop with a spirit of relaxation.  So I hurry through the store hoping I get what I wanted.
Lisi:  The door opens and out comes Sasha!  My dear friend!  And that other big lady that hands me treats all the time!  I love you so!  Why isn't my Big Lady as nice as you?  We go tearing through the yard like crazy.  I'm so glad I came!  Wheeee!  Life is good!  Finally, we settle into the mudroom with a bucket of water and relaxation.

What did you do next?
Big Lady:  So I left TJ's and got one more brief stop done to get the needed volleyball pads.  Then another in and out to return some shoes that another one of the MYP didn't need.  Then instead of wandering around enjoying the soft music and sniffing pretty candles, I tore for home to recover our rotten dog on the lam.  I drove straight to the neighbor house and rapped on the door.
Lisi:  We relaxed awhile in the mudroom and then wandered around the house.  This place is fantastic!  It's big and roomy and the big lady lets me go anywhere I want not just on wood like they force me to do at home.  A knock at the door!!!  Sasha and I go rushing to see who came!!!

Big Lady:  The dogs come bounding out.  Lisi is looking at me confused like 'what are you doing here???'  I hand over a token gift of appreciation from TJ's (a nice pump soap thingy and jelly beans).  We chat and I apologize and Mrs. Kindneighbor waxes on and on how sweet Lisi is.  I'm ready to wring her neck (Lisi's, not Mrs. Kindneighbor) but can't since I wasn't there when the transgression happened.  I make some small talk and load her up in the van and head for home.  The fun is over... almost.
Lisi:  BIG LADY!  She's not yelling!  But why in the world did she come here to this house?  I'm doing just fine here.  I've got my friend and treats and a big lady that doesn't yell!  She doesn't seem all that mad.  She's talking politely to the other big lady.  They are laughing and my Big Lady tousles my ears every once in awhile.  Then she says "go for a ride?"  Well finally she's taking me!  I hop in and the ride is immediately over.  We are home!  Oh well.

Anything else?
Big Lady:  I fed Lisi mid-afternoon and was getting ready for our walk when I realized that Lisi wasn't staring in the back window like she always does.  Just when I was ready to whistle for her my phone bleeps again.  "Lisi saw us drive by and came for another visit.  :)"  Now I'm mad.  I'm ready to yell.  So I go marching over all business-like and before I even get to their driveway, Lisi comes barreling out looking all sheepish and guilty.  I take her home.  I get out the invisible fence collar and she goes cowering in the corner.  I put it on and refuse to walk her for awhile to make a statement.  After a wee bit I can't help but feel sorry for her and off we go.  However, she is sporting her extra collar these days 'just in case'.
Lisi:  My suppertime has been mid-afternoon lately.  It's delicious every time!  Just as I finished I saw Sasha's van go by.  Sasha was leaning out the window!  I must go play with Sasha again!  And so I raced after their van and my friend got out and we had our second romp in the snow.  Until... I saw the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  She's not looking happy.  I run up to her.  I try to look sweet and innocent and repentant.  She's not buying it.  She leashes me up and takes me home and puts on that horrible red collar that beeps and worse.  My fun is over.  For now.  Until I get a chance to go again.

Editors note:  Sorry this ended up being so long!


  1. Really Lisi!!--sounds like you're going to have to be reminded what grounding is. That's as bad as my kids sometimes! :D

  2. Totally interesting to the end! whee Lisi- it was fun while it lasted! ;)