Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Simply Stinky

It was just like any other night.  After the people here ate their meal together circled around the round table, they did the dishes and then the Big Guy got on his jacket.  We were heading out for our evening walk!  Hello!  This is Lisi.  Yes, something happened again.

Last night the Big Guy and I started our nightly journey by the light of the moon.  I like our night walks almost better than the day ones (but don't tell the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway).  They are more spooky.  Full of interesting things.  And the Big Guy never uses a leash.

We were heading by the last pond before we turn for home and I thought I smelled an animal.  Got deep under a big pine tree and sure enough!  A little kitty!  Wait!  It is black and white.  Uh-oh.  I back out of there.  Skunk follows me out with his tail high.  Big Guy is screaming, "RUN LISI!  RUN!!!".  I think I know what that means.  It means get closer to the skunk and give him a scare.  Wait.  Maybe not.  The skunk turns and 'shoots'.  Ohmygoodness.  It was just like the other two times.  Terrible.  I reel around looking for my master.  All I see is the silhouette of him barreling away from us and heading for home.  I must go after him!  I finally catch up with him back at our yard.  He runs into the house hollering for the Big Lady that yells but loves me anyway.  She comes outside.  Shakes her head slowly from side to side and I think she muttered under her breath 'stupid dog'.  How insulting.

She disappeared for a couple minutes and comes out wearing different clothes and a bucket with some foamy stuff.    She scrubs me down a little harder than she needed to if you want me to be honest.  I think she was kinda mad.  But she still loves me.  After she rubbed all that salty-icky stuff on me, she went inside a bit.  Then she came out and headed for the hose.  Oh no.  I'm not letting her pour all that freezing water on me after that scrubbing.  So I took off.  Wait!  What was that!  Something is right by the tree.  Big Lady still giving chase catches up with me and almost steps on the animal.  She looks down and Big Lady yelled like I've never heard before.  POSSUM!  Yeah!  That's what it is!  It has its mouth open and it looks fierce.  I keep barking and barking at it.  Big Lady has retreated to the house based on the diminishing screams.  So I'm left alone to guard the family from this icky animal.

A lot of little people run out of the house with flashlights to look.  Then out marches Big Lady.  She's all business now and grabs me away from that possum.  She hauls me up to the very cold hose water and squirts it all over me.  To add insult to injury shameful to stink, she locked me up in the cold garage all wet with that rotten cat.  He thinks the nights are for riotous partying, so now I'm exhausted, slightly damp, and a bit odorous from my excitement last night.

I think I better take a nap.


  1. Lisi, you are pushing your luck and I would advise you to stay away from black and white kitties. The next time you could get banned from your moon lit walks and that would be a real shame!

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  3. Absolutely hilarious. I think Lisi would do well to remember the lady that yells but loves her anyway could just ban her for a long time. That stink lasts a long time. At least you can still go for walks!!

  4. Lisi, lisi, Lisi, will you ever learn?

  5. Dear Lisi,
    Will we ever understand these big people that yell at us but loves us anyway? All we are doing is being a dog, just like God made us!! Me and Kay do our absolute best to keep all the coyotes and other animals away from the farm, but what do the big people do? Shut us in the kennel so we can't do our duty!! Honestly! Will they EVER learn!?!
    A faithful and loyal Australian Shepherd