Monday, November 1, 2010

That's what friends are for...

It was the worst day of my life. I had come home from the Children's Hospital. It was day three.  Needed to take a quick shower. Regroup and head back to the NICU where our micro-preemie was lying there fighting for her life. The Chairman had to run into work for a moment and then the phone rang. It was one of the doctors. The scan results had come back. It wasn't good. Amara had the highest grade bleed on the right side and the next to highest bleed on the left. You and your husband need to come in, but there is little left to do but make some decisions. I was completely alone. I called the Chairman. He understandably was devastated. We talked and exchanged 'love yous' and he was coming home immediately. I sat there for merely a moment or two and the doorbell rang. My heart sunk. I had just heard that our daughter was probably not going to live. I didn't want to talk to anyone.  But when I went to the door, there she was.  An angel in human form. I welcomed her and her 2-month old and 3 year old into the house. She had some food for us. But the timing wasn't an accident. She was directed here. Because she had gone through tragedy exactly the same - she had lost a baby girl. The exact month but five years earlier. She had at one time been exactly where I was. No one could be a more perfect source of help than her. Instead of planning the color of the baby room, she helped guide us as to what to do about a funeral. Where to bury this little baby. How to face others. We talked. We cried. She encouraged.

When we went through the other losses, she'd call. Just to see how I was doing. When we thought seriously about adoption, she and her great husband encouraged us through each step. When we we received our referral, she threw this massive baby shower (while expecting her third beautiful daughter). She was one of the first I told when we had the hope of a son. In fact, her youngest and our son are only five days different in age.

And this weekend we celebrated their 25 years of marriage. Friends. Someone you can count on in good and bad times. I am thankful for them. And for many others that make this journey of life bearable, pleasant, and wonderful.
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  1. I'm deeply touched. Thankful that I, too, have been helped by friends in times of need and darkness!

  2. Tears and goosebumps. And somehow I knew who you were talking about before I saw the picture. True gems!!

  3. Timing so perfect that you know without a doubt that it was directed by a greater source....the little one's paternal grandparents are special people in my life and were like my surrogate parents for several years....back when. I remember the little one's story so well. Special post, thanks.

  4. A hug for you and her! Nothing quite like great friends. Happy Anniversary to a great couple! We are watching them and their 3 girls! We need all the tips and help we can get with our soon to be 3!

  5. "Been there, done that" is a phrase we hear nearly daily. Somehow, even though maybe it means the same thing, it is used too lightly to be appropriate in the situation you write about. Such a huge abyss in your lives that day, and such a wonderful friend who was there to help you bridge the gap. Thank you for sharing, Linda. As I sit at my desk now, looking at a picture of my happy, smiling Jessica, I am reminded just how fortunate we were to have her as long as we did, and how fortunate we were to have family and friends that stood by us. God certainly does keep His own.