And now a message from the Chairman of the Board of the Debelak Diaries.
Apparently, in the recent past, an event intended to be kept confidential was publicly disclosed within the Debelak Diaries. Duane (that would be me) prefers to operate in a low-profile environment and not have dirty laundry broadcast on the world wide web.
In an effort to maintain good relations with the Reporter, Critic, Editor, Cartoonist, and Publisher of the Debelak Diaries(that would be Linda), I will not request removal of the original post. However, I believe readers of the blog will potentially benefit from a more detailed and accurate summation of the event.
At about 11:45 a.m., I was proceeding westbound in the left lane of I-94 from the Marquette Interchange. While typically alert for various freeway hazards, I may have been lost in house design thought. At the Miller Park interchange, I glanced in the rear view mirror and noticed a fully marked Milwaukee County Sheriff's Department Chevy Tahoe closing at high speed with take down lights operational.
I quickly signaled and moved into the center lane. Unfortunately, he followed suit. I then signaled again, moved into the right lane, and then moved far over in the right emergency lane. As he came to a stop behind me, I could see him calling in my plate (or calling in for back-up support). I used this valuable time to roll down my window and ready my license.
In short order, a very large crew cut Deputy stepped out of his vehicle and purposefully approached me.
At my window, he bellowed:
DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING???!!!
No Sir.
YOU WERE GOING 70 IN A 50 MILE ZONE!!!!!!
ooohhh Noooo....
At this point, he grabbed my license and marched back to his vehicle.
Fearing the worst, I started formulating feeble plans to minimize the damage.
Within two minutes, he stomped back, returned my license, and declared:
IF YOU KEEP DRIVING LIKE THIS YOU WILL RUIN YOUR GOOD RECORD!!!!!!
Yes Sir.
**** Note that the warning was verbal, not written ****
While driving away at slow speed, I called Linda to inform her (I assumed it was just her) of my good fortune.
In a blatant attempt to increase web hits, she published this information and exposed me to embarrassment and ridicule. Additionally, this may violate my unwritten and unspoken rules regarding confidentiality.
While seemingly innocuous, this could establish a dangerous precedent. As I am a very infrequent reader of this blog, I kindly ask my supporters (if any) in the blog readership to discreetly alert me if I am not discussed in anything but the most favorable terms.
I would like to thank the Editor for allowing me to clarify the recent event and share my overall concerns.
We will now return to normal programming.
I'm falling out of my chair! Laughing! Good one! We proly knew before the kids knew... and Lisi... teehee
ReplyDeletethat is pretty good! so lucky! keep slow!
ReplyDeleteI think that's pretty much what your wife already told us, isn't it? I thought her account was pretty merciful, actually. ;)
ReplyDeletei would like to put in my vote for frequent updates by the "chair" as i am now ( also) falling off my chair...thanks for the laugh and high brow entertainment...will look forward to further interruptions. thnks.
ReplyDeleteI have found that having a screaming baby in the back seat does not grant me the mercy (going 9 over on our residential street) that you received. Are the Milwaukee cops nicer?
ReplyDeleteYou might want to delete the postings before the kids read it, you'd be amazed at what they can remember and speeding tickets have a way of haunting parents once their kids are driving.
I join Anita on the floor laughing!
ReplyDeleteThis is very funny! I too vote for additional posts from the chairman! I'd probably keel over if my other half posted on my blog too & he knows anything that happens is likely to be blogged! Ha!
ReplyDeleteHEE HEE! GIGGLE! And to think I almost missed this post!
ReplyDeleteMy hubby barely knows how to check his business e-mail, so I'm not to worried about him writing on my blog...yet, but I suppose he'd learn faster if he knew how much fun it is!